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Glenn Beck spends new $100 million radio contract on lemonade

Flush from his new $100 million five year radio deal with Premiere Networks, Glenn Beck is going to bat for the latest poster child for the American right, lemonade stands. “I don’t know about you but I just can’t take it any more . . . we can’t have any lemonade stands,” he’s lamenting on his web site. “The nanny state is out of control.”

The famous blackboard is up and Beck is listing various lemonade stands that have been shut down by the cops in areas where [gasp] permits are required to sell food, among them a venture in Midway County, Georgia.

“It’s the entrepreneurial spirit” that is threatened, Beck insists.

Beck even has a lemonade page on his site, supporting National Lemonade Stand and Bake Sale Hug-A-Thon Day, which happens today, Wednesday, June 13. Apparently lemonade stands have been so repressed that there will be at least two hundred of them up and running across the country on that day.

It’s unclear why Beck has added bake sales to the endangered species list. “Can’t have a bake sale?!!” he alarums, despite offering no evidence that such events have been curtailed. I’d be surprised if they were. After all, thanks to the huge Bush era tax cuts that Beck supports, bake sales are our educational system’s last financial hope.

Where did Beck get this latest cause from? Probably from NPR actually, which ran a piece last July titled America’s attack on lemonade stands. From whence came NPR’s evidence of a McCarthyite police spree on lemonade selling children? The same Georgia story and another in Montgomery Country, Maryland, plus a couple more stands that were robbed by teenage miscreants.

But, unmentioned by Beck, the NPR essay also notes the lemonade stand movement’s great leap forward, the World’s Longest Lemonade Stand—a crowning achievement of the Beverly Elementary School of Beverly Hills Michigan.

It went up on August 20, 2011. “Our stand length of 1,399 feet and 11 inches far exceeded the Guinness World Record requirement of 1,200,” the project’s organizers claim.

Sounds like lemonade venture capitalism is alive and well. “It’s the first time that a kid will say, ‘you know what? I can be somebody. I can make my own money’!” Beck declares, but also adds: “What I think they learn is that nobody buys lemonade from lemonade stands.”

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13 Responses to Glenn Beck spends new $100 million radio contract on lemonade

  1. LaRue (Ozzie) Osborn June 13, 2012 at 7:59 am #

    Where is the lemonade stand iSatelite Beach Fl?

  2. JC June 13, 2012 at 8:49 am #

    Here’s a tip: try Google-ing “bake sales” prior to writing your article and you will find out about the ban in Massachusetts. You’re welcome.

  3. PR June 13, 2012 at 9:29 am #

    Speaking from where I currently am bake sales have been relegated to selling pre cooked cakes from Entemann’s due to allergies.

    Unless Massachusetts still allowed home cooked bakery goods the tradition is kind of already dead.

  4. Matthew Lasar June 13, 2012 at 9:41 am #

    Effectively conceding that Glenn Beck’s rant about lemonade is bogus, several tweeters and commenters are strangely attempting to correct my piece by pointing out that Massachusetts “banned bake sales”, except that’s not what happened. Apparently the state, alarmed at the epidemic of obesity sweeping the nation, tried "to prohibit the sale of . . . treats at bake sales during school hours." The marketing of cupcakes and brownies and such would be limited to times "30 minutes before and after the start of classes." In other words, afternoons, evenings, and weekends, when many bake sales already occur.

    This is not a "banning" of bake sales. In any event, parents expressed exactly the concern that I mentioned in my article, that this would limit their ability to raise funds for schools, and so the regulation was rescinded. Having been saved from the "nanny state," Bay State residents can breathe easy again, or at least as easily as a population increasingly suffering from high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes, and hypertension can breathe.

  5. Paul_hub June 13, 2012 at 10:09 am #

    I live in Massachusets and the recent bake sale issue is only the tip of the iceburg. This state is incrementally outlawing anything it sees as a danger to people or the environment. For example, they outlawed the use of kerosene which I use in emergency lamps, or sulfuric acid that I use in batteries. And the list goes on and on. The point here is that incrementally we loose freedoms every day because the authorities want to protect us from our selves. I’d rather have less protection and more freedom, thank you.

  6. PR June 13, 2012 at 10:39 am #

    No offense but these kind of articles are probably better suited for The Huffington Post. : 3

  7. CJ June 13, 2012 at 10:49 am #

    You do realize the proceeds from these lemonade stands go to help feed the hungry right? Seems like a positive deal to me.

  8. Matthew Lasar June 13, 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    I would be delighted to write for the Huffington Post, if they paid me; Gawker too, for that matter. As for the notion that Lemo stands feed the hungry, I think Beck’s side comment was the only thing he said that made sense: “What I think [kids] learn is that nobody buys lemonade from lemonade stands.”

  9. CJ June 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

    Obviously you’ve missed the entire point of the nationwide event. Maybe it’s just me but it sure would be nice if we could all rally around a cause that is actually non-partisan for once. I don’t care who you dislike or like, but supporting something that is benefitting our communities instead of pointing out all the little pointless, out of context, comments would be a breath of fresh air.

  10. Jess Hansen June 13, 2012 at 9:50 pm #

    Let’s see, your headline is misleading, you attack a national charity event, and you wonder why even the Huffington post won’t pay for your “hackery”. I wouldn’t keep waiting, time to move out of your mothers basement and get a real job at McDonalds.

  11. Matthew Lasar June 14, 2012 at 8:14 am #

    Jess: I didn’t attack a national charity event. My headline is satirical. My mother doesn’t have a basement. And why is it that when you guys talk about a “real job,” it’s always at McDonalds?

  12. kelly June 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

    “thanks to the huge Bush era tax cuts that Beck supports, bake sales are our educational system’s last financial hope.”

    Ahahaha! As if more money thrown at the school system improves things??

    You really believe that tax cuts are to blame for our crappy schools? Do you have any idea how much money is dumped into public schools? Or how that number continues to go up as test scores go down? What world do liberals live in?

  13. Matthew Lasar June 15, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

    Let me get this straight. When Massachusetts supposedly bans bake sales (which it didn’t), that was taking desperately needed money from schools. But wait, no, schools are incredibly rich it turns out, and don’t even need tax dollars! And money doesn’t even improve schools anyway!

    Ok. So if you don’t think money improves schools, why are you guys so upset about Massachusetts regulating school bake sales in the first place? I know, if the government can regulate bake sales, the next thing you know they’ll be regulating when you can walk across the street in high traffic areas, or checking restaurants for cleanliness standards, or sending out public service announcements urging people to get flu vaccines. It’s all a big slippery slope towards 1984.

    Final comment before I close this thread. Back in the day, you were a liberal if you supported integration or the right of people to join unions. Now you are a liberal if you support tax dollars for schools. Kool aid anyone?

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